The Bell Jar: #2, #10

The Bell Jar was pretty good. I liked it a lot better than Catcher in the Rye, even though both focused on the mental changes a person goes through as they become depressed and suicidal. I like how the ending is hopeful, and she has come out a more knowledgeable and confident person in the end. Even though I still don't feel like she knows what she wants to do with her life, that question doesn't confuse her and depress her like it used to. Catcher, on the other hand, does not leave the reader feeling like Holden will be okay again. The idea of a Bell Jar containing her and looming over her, was a good extended metaphor too, and the image makes a lot of sense, from a figurative sense though. I admit, that I actually did not know what a bell jar was at first.

I really like Doctor Nolan. Sometimes, her methods seem a little strange for me, but she seems to be a good confidante for Esther, which was crucial to her improvement. For example, I was surprised when Doctor Nolan seemed sort of happy with Esther saying that she hated her mother. At that time, I questioned whether Nolan was a better doctor than Doctor Gordon, who did not help Esther, and actually made Esther more untrusting of others. When he gave her shock treatment, it only made her feel more hostile towards Doctor Gordon, and more determined to fake well-being in order to avoid shock treatment. I think Esther really needed someone to talk to, and explain some of her personal thoughts to. Like how Esther told no one else about her hatred of male power.

Esther/Elizabeth

Esther sort of reminds me of Elizabeth, from Pride and Prejudice, although Elizabeth does not become depressed in the story. Both Esther and Elizabeth are described to be attractive, and hardworking girls, who are self-motivated to learn, despite their lack of wealth. Esther is an English major, while Elizabeth enjoys books and poetry. Elizabeth starts out, not understanding Mr. Darcy's real nature. She assumes he is contemptuous, arrogant, and unkind. However, as the story proceeds, she learns what he really is like, rather than just misinterpreting his image. Her perception of Mr. Darcy changes completely by then end of the novel. Although Elizabeth, at first, felt that he was the last man on earth she would marry, she falls for him in the end, and they live happily ever after. Similarly, Esther's perception Buddy Willard changes. However, Esther's relationship with Buddy is completely different from Lizzy's relationship with Mr. Darcey. Esther's image of him changes for the worst: she began, thinking that he was perfect, but came to dislike him.

Doreen and Betsy. I like both of them. Although Doreen and Esther don't see eye-to-eye sometimes, especially after the incident at the bar, Doreen is still a good friend to Esther. Doreen is a more outgoing, witty, facetious friend. Betsy is the more sweet, innocent friend. Both Doreen and Betsy are supportive of Esther, although they bring out different sides of her. Doreen convinced Esther to jump out of a cab, and meet at a bar with some random men. Betsy is a more wholesome influence on Esther.

So far, I like the book. I prefer it over Catcher in the Rye, because it is less ranting, and I feel like there is more of a plot. I see that Esther is confused what she wants from life, and like Holden, she hates "phony" people and hypocrites. However, I don't see her becoming depressed yet. She still seems pretty self-motivated and interested in pursuing a successful future. I wonder what will happen to her, to make her become suicidal.

Honestly, I Can't Think of Any Other Name So I'll Go Generic: Catcher in the Rye

When I began this novel, I really disliked Holden. I found him to be whiny, nasty, and overcritical on others. However, over the course of the story, you can't help but be a little sympathetic towards him. He feels so lonely and depressed all the time, and he doesn't really open up to anyone. Towards the end of the book, he reflects over whether he wanted to tell the reader the entire story. However, I think he actually wanted to finally explain what happened to him. He writes as though he is talking to the reader about his experience, which is what he could never do with anyone before. As a reader, I try to get myself to understand the perspective of Holden, but it is kind of uncomfortable for me, because his perspective is a little crazy and I sort of don't want to think the way he is thinking. You could tell that he was getting more and more depressed, as he mentioned increasingly often things that depressed him.

By the end of the story, I actually start questioning whether Holden is completely crazy, or whether he is actually seeing something more than most people, that causes him to act crazy. His thoughts on the theater are pretty interesting. He believes that actors don't act like real people, because they are too perfect- they respond too immediately, the lines are all memorized. Even the good actors are then too good.

I felt really bad for Holden when Maurice and Sunny barged into his hotel room, beat him up, and robbed him. He must have felt horrible when Maurice trapped him undressed, and the two robbed him. I bet that sort of experience would make him feel really lonely and depressed, considering how even small other things depress him. He is still sixteen, which makes him pretty close to my age, and that makes the situation more horrific to me.

I'm glad that Holden gives a sort of reflection in the short last chapter of the book. I think it creates the full circle, especially when he mentions Stradlater and Ackley. However, I still think that his ending may not suggest a hopeful future. I think he will probably be steadier than before, though. At the end, he still shows his inability to connect with people, because he tells the reader not to tell anybody anything, because it will only cause pain and nostalgia. To me, Mr. Antolini was right when he said that Holden doesn't adjust and interact with his surroundings well.

The book, all in all, improved a lot after my first post, but still did not appeal to me as much as some of the others. It was somewhere on the middle of the spectrum, I suppose.

Holden Onto His Saneness

So far, I've determined that I do not like this book. This may be my least favorite in the book rotation so far.

Holden:: Very early in the novel, the reader finds out that he is in a mental institution. As the story progresses, it becomes more and more obvious that he is already experiencing some extreme thoughts and temperaments. My first negative impression of him, was about how he is such a whiner! His whole story so far is like a complaint after complaint, and rant after rant. As a reader, I can not fully believe that his perspective on the events was the actual truth of what happened, because he is so erratic and opinionated. He is very judgmental of people, and calls many people "phonies." He is sarcastic, and contemptuous, and mocking of people. When he walks into Ackley's room at 11:30 at night, he is totally unappreciative and condescending to Ackley. Ackley doesn't want to let someone sleep in his roommate's bed, when his roommate is away. That seems reasonable. But then Holden taunts him and mocks him about it. Furthermore, he wakes up Ackley in the middle of the night, and then leaves the room while insulting him. I don't particularly like Ackley either, but the novel focuses on Holden's thoughts and development.

......

I guess his attitude is excusable, though, because he is apparently nearing need to be put in the institution.

Holden is also a bit hypocritical. For example, he hates when people repeat things. When he was speaking to Mr. Spencer, he found it annoying that Mr. Spencer would repeat his confessions. However, Holden repeats himself often. He commonly says things like "It really did" or "It really was." While talking to Mr. Spencer, he says "I know it is. I know it." Holden's hypocrisy will probably contribute to eventual downfall.

The hat:: That hat seems to have some sort of importance. It is described to be odd and garish, and Holden likes to wear it a certain way. Ackley first comments on it, then Stradlater. Holden even wears the hat after changing into pajamas. Then, he does not have the hat when he gets into the fight with Stradlater. Holden then brings the hat with him as he leaves Pencey. I think that hat hides his extreme nature, and allows him to control his emotions.

The hygiene at Pencey:: This may be an odd thing to talk about, but the sanitation standards in Pencey are terrible! After being punched by Stradlater, Holden's face is described to be totally gory and bloody, to the extent where the sight is almost scary. Yet, he does not wash his face, and he lies down in Ackley's room on Ackley's roommate's bed. Poor roommate! Secondly, according to Holden, Ackley doesn't shower (ever), which is extremely unhygienic.

Peanut Shells:: When Holden is leaving Pencey, he almost breaks his neck slipping on peanut shells that were mysteriously left on the stairs. Peanuts are often used in a hyperbole to describe exaggerated brain sizes. Holden almost fell and became disabled, because of those people he considers morons. I think there should be some significance to the fact that he slipped on peanut shells, even though my current interpretation may not be correct.

Montana 1918 and After

Finished Montana, and I liked it :) It was good, and some parts were pretty thrilling. It moved fairly fast, and kept my attention focused.

First, I'd like to explain my reaction to David's character and voice as the narrator. I think that it was a good idea to have they young twelve year old son as a narrator. He has an amazing capacity for sympathy and love, while maintaining his innocence, and giving the immediate, raw reaction a person might have to the situations. Because David is pretty young, and his life was comfortable prior to the event, he is a little short-sighted. When Uncle Frank commits suicide, he is happy, think that his death was a stroke of luck that will solve his family's problems. He says that people will grieve for a while, but things will return as they were. That was definitely not the case, because Gail, Wes, and David were ostracized from the Hayden family. That was also a sad ending to their lives in Montana.

The Jars. I could imagine Frank going crazy, smashing glass jars in the root cellar. Breaking glass makes a terrible sound. And the poor mother and father were terrified, sitting like children (according to David) on the couch. The father kept it together, and comforted the mother, who thought of how Frank was destroying their lives and efforts. Imagine waking up at 1AM in the morning, when its dark, the sound of a rapist smashing glass in the basement. I would be terrified. I came to love the character of the father, as he became the voice of morality, perseverance, and justice. He knew he had to endure the sound, and keep his family from collapsing.

I also admire the mother. She, too, tried to save her family, while doing what was right. She sent David to find his father, when the huge men of the grandfather came to forcefully break into the house and release the criminal. That was pretty impressive to me.

Montana 1948: Loving Air

For those reading, I am a little into Part II, so beware, because I might ruin some suprises.

Firstly, I can sort of sympathize with how the mother is unused to Montana. Montana weather seems very extreme, with the differences on both sides of the county. Personally, I think it would take a very long time for me to get acustomed to Montana. I like the suburban environment, with towns side-by-side and accesible. I like the weather here, with all four seasons (except maybe spring, because of the pollen). As for landscape, I think hills are nice; I live on one anyways. I now picture Montana to be very dusty, and flat, and brown, with rigid mountains surrounding it. The isolation of Bentrock does not suit me either. From the title, I am going to assume that the entire story that David will tell, happens in the year 1948, which only gives the time span a few months (the book starts in August).

I also noticed how the mother was standing outside, appreciating the smell of nature and wind. I hope this doesn't sound weird (it probably will), but sometimes I love the smell of air! I love how winter nights smell, especially in Vermont. I love the smell of summer nights, and the sense of "whoa" it evokes. Fall nights are also amazing too, in a different way. I can understand how the mother would want to take some time to enjoy the wind.

I think that Marie's name is a little ironic. She is Marie Little Soldier. David describer her not being little, but tall and full-figured. Maybe she is only little, because of the way people are prejudiced against Indians, diminishing their importance and role in the town's society. The "soldier" part indicates that she is tough and spirited, but she is "little," because society ranks her so.

I think I should start expecting that women are sexually abused in these novels. When I saw that the protagonist was a boy this time, I thought that there would be no undermining of women, oh well. I wouldn't call this a feminist novel. It focuese more on racial discriminations, not female independence and power. It just happens that in the books we read, the women are tradionally the victims of rape.

The House On the Corner of The Future and Past

I really actually enjoyed The House on Mango Street . Despite the vignettes, I feel like there was a structure and chronological progression over the course of the story, even though it was unclear oftentimes. For a while, I thought that Esperanza was 16, until I found out that Sally was only 13. And now thinking on that, Esperanza was pretty young to have such determined dreams, and to be told that she must leave Mango Street in order to return for others. That whole concept also now makes sense, because most of the story is spent either describing Esperanza's perspective and experience on things, or the tragic lives of others.

Among other things, I found the three sisters to be rather curious. Firstly, they seem unrelated, but there is a close connection between the three of them. They remind me of the three evil witches in MacBeth, because they juxtapose each other. The witches in MacBeth are messengers of the Devil, bringing about the demise of people and causing trouble. The three sisters seem to be good people, because they encourage Esperanza on her dream of escaping Mango Street, and tell her to save others. However, both sets of witches are "magical." Esperanza describes sisters to be strangely knowledgeable about her future and her thoughts. There is also sense that the three witches/sisters from both stories have very connected minds. Furthermore, the sisters vanish very suddenly, like the MacBeth witches. (whooosshhhhooshhosshhh *Anthony's vanishing sound effect*). The two sets of witches are opposites of each other.

At first, in the novel, I wasn't sure how each little story could possibly tell the life and maturing of Esperanza, but it has. I actually tried reading this book the summer before fifth or sixth grade, but I remember that I understood very little of the symbols and meanings behind each experience in the vignettes. Now, I am glad I can appreciate the creativity and emotion behind Esperanza's conclusions and perspectives.

I also find it coincidental that Esperanza wanted to be a femme fatale, like the beautiful but powerful women she saw in movies. Personally, I don't think she is a femme fatale, and I don't expect her to be. She is too considerate of others, and though she wants independence from men, she doesn't seem vengeful. On the other hand, Catherine, from Wuthering Heights, was nasty, and had little care for others. Catherine ruined Heathcliff and Edgar, but Esperanza did not do that to anyone. She took care of herself, and tried to help others, without putting herself in those type of femme fatale conflicts.

Oh, hahah, I almost forgot to address the title of my blog. Okay, so last blurb. By the end of the story, I think Esperanza finally understood that though she wanted Mango Street to remain in her past, Mango Street has defined her goals and future. Because of her experience there (the disappointment she felt and determination to escape), she will eventually find a way out, and come back to help others. Mango Street is essentially the greatest factor of her past, and the greatest force to bring about her future.

House on Mango Street: Mangos vs. Pears. I like Mangos, but to Be Honest, I Like Pears More. That's Irrelevant Though.

Just out of curiosity, I am wondering why the author chose the street to be "Mango." So far, I have not been able to rationalize this decision, but I hope I can realize by the end of the book, what the author means be it. I also find it interesting that each chapter ends on an ambiguous or weighty, profound statement, normally short or simple in structure. It makes the reader think about what really happened in the chapter. So far, I see that the character is ashamed of her name and her life. She wants to stand out and be independent, but in a way that does not make her feel like an outsider or outcast. She feels like she has spirit (comparing herself to a red balloon), but has no means to make anything out of it.

Also, Esperanza is just so lonely and sad. She is begging for friends, to the point where she is jealous of her brothers for being closer in age. She is disappointed in what she has (the house on Mango street, her siblings, and her name), and her goal to to be more than that. In a way, I think Esperanza connects her life to the house on Mango Street. When she talks about her goals, her goals center on having a big house, unlike the one she had on Mango Street. She feels tied to her house maybe, and its neighborhood.

This may be a stretch, but the bicycle may represent her desire to move- to move out of her life. She traded Cathy (who is a total snob) to have part of the bicycle. Even though she, Lucy, and Rachel ride the bicycle together crooked, they like going "fast and faster." past their neighborhood. Perhaps this relates to Esperanzas, desire to get out of this neighborhood, because her life is tied to this neighborhood.

The Bean Trees #2: Vegetable Soup

I really like the ending of this book. Towards the end, everything seems to come together, and even the symbols become more clear. When Taylor is sitting in the library with Turtle, I feel like this implies that Turtle will have a good life, with loving people and hope for a future. This scene reminds me of Taylor's childhood, where she was naive, and not particularly knowledge. Education was poor in her hometown, and she did not sit with her mother reading horticulture in a library. Turtle has good chances a life, and the particular entry they study is very sweet :) The chapter is titled "rhizobia," because Taylor speaks with all the people that have been rhizobia for her: her mother, Estevan, Esperanza, and Lou Ann. Perhaps Mattie is omitted, because she is rhizobia for everyone, and she posed as a sort of mother figure who always believed in Taylor and praised her.

I also love how Lou Ann shows how far she has come in this novel. At first, she had low self-esteem, she was frightened of everything, and very cautious. By the end, she becomes adventurous, takes life into her own hands by rejecting Angel and deciding how she wants to handle her new boyfriend. Cameron seems sweet, and he is sort of like Taylor's old teacher. Taylor's old teacher was like a breath of fresh air for Pittsford; Cameron John is like a man Lou Ann has never had, and her relationship with him is different from her relationship with Angel, which dragged on when she lacked the confidence to move on.

Also, now that all is said and done in the novel, I would like to consider why the author chose the name "Turtle." Turtles are shy creatures, that tend to retract in their shells for protection, and they can use their shells to hide and blend in with surroundings. Turtle began as catatonic, too afraid and hurt to trust anyone. She retracted within herself, and she was so quiet, that Taylor did not even notice her in their first car ride. However, later in the novel, Taylor and Lou Ann discover that her name is actually April. I can relate the phrase "April showers bring May flowers" to her new name. Shortly after Taylor and Lou Ann realize the name, Turtle is attacked again in the park. Her life becomes story again, and she reverts to her old catatonic ways. Eventually though, she emerges from that phase again. First, the cereus blooming is an auspicious sign. During the travels, Turtle also finds mutual comfort and love with Esperanza, another damaged person. The trip ultimately brings about the bright ending, where everyone has come to terms with their past, and they now have lasting, loving bonds with another. Turtle realizes who she belongs with, and her relationship with Taylor imply that Turtle will have a hopeful life. These results would be the "may flowers" that emerge from the gloom.

When Turtle sings the vegetable soup song, I find that very contrasting with Turtle at the beginning of the novel. Turtle didn't speak at all in the novel, she was quiet and hurt. As the novel ends, the Taylor and Turtle are driving to Arizona again; this time, Turtle is bubbly, energetic, and she is singing! She doesn't just speak. She has come so far that she feels free to sing now.

The Bean Trees #1. Okay, Here it goes...

Currently, I am wondering how the two characters (Taylor Greer and Lou Ann Ruiz) will relate to each other. I think that the baby, Turtle, will be the greatest yoke between their lives (hmmnnn idk if I used that right, hope so.) Because Lou Ann is pregnant, her baby may actually be Turtle. This might be one of those books where there are two stories that the author keeps going between, and they happen at different point in time, and the earlier story has a major effect on determining the fate of the characters in the later story. That reminds me of the book, The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevelier, which also rotated between two stories happening in different generations. In that book, tragedy of Isabelle de Moulin's life in the 1300s seemed to have a psychological effect on the women later in her bloodline. After beginning to receive strange and disturbing dreams, Ella Turner's (a descendent of Isaballe) searched to understand her heritage, while the author simultaneously described Isabelle's past. The climax comes to the point where the Ella is at the place where Isabelle's tragedy occurred. I think that this story will probably have a similar point, where the stories seem to merge at some common place that would change Lou Ann's and Taylor's lives.

I also admire Taylor's courage and determination, although she knows little of what she is doing and what her future will be. Personally, however, I also think that it is a great risk to leave so much of life up to chance, but those sort of stories seem to always be pretty touching for the audience. Taylor also seems to be fueled by emotion rather than reason. Many of her decisions depend on her emotional reaction to certain situations. For example, when she begins to comprehend Turtle's abusive past, Taylor becomes convinced that she must keep her safe. Only later, does Taylor think about how unprepared she is as a mother. However, I think that she will do well with raising the baby. Taylor is very independent and capable, and she can protect herself and the baby.

....This post has so little structure and organization to it. It feels pretty weird putting this up when its so unorganized. But okay, I'm going to. Sorry if anything is really run-on.